Author: heather

Last Tuesday was M’s third chemotherapy treatment.  He missed his follow-up appointment with Dr. K for treatment number two because he was too sick to travel that far (about 45 minutes).  Dr. K saw him Tuesday during treatment three and again expressed concern with how he’s physically handling the chemo. So, Dr. K is changing treatment four, which is scheduled to be the last, because in his words, “we don’t want to kill you.”

M didn’t have to go for his Neulasta shot this time which I didn’t understand as his WBC number is the lowest it’s tested at, 3.7. Every other week it’s been flagged high, this week was the first time it flagged low and he didn’t have to go?

Missing the shot didn’t really help the side effects as M is having deep bone pain that’s worse than before and he was hoping no shot would mean less. The feeling in his hands and feet just keeps getting worse as well asmore nausea this time.

Tomorrow we’re headed back to see Dr. L, the doc that did the Gamma Knife. M will have an MRI, then we’ll meet with Dr. L for the results…

I’m planning to use valet parking and get M a wheelchair as soon as we arrive… he has the paperwork for a handicap placard but he’s not been healthy enough to go to the notary.

It is what it is…

Again, it’s M’s “good week” but you wouldn’t know it by the beating his body’s giving him.  He doesn’t like taking pain meds so he hasn’t taken any since Monday. .. Yesterday he blamed the pain on not taking pain meds but today he admits that maybe it’s the chemo. I can look at him and see the pain.  It isn’t hard when tears have welled up in his eyes.

Next Tuesday is dose three. M said tonight he isn’t sure his body can handle four doses.

M is miserable.  You can just look at him and see the pain. It shoots through his bones, I suspect that’s from the Neulasta shot. But the foot and hand pain, tingling, and numbness is likely peripheral neuropathy from the chemo drugs.  All three that he gets have it as a side effect. Even though they dropped his dosage 10%, since many effects are cumulative, it’s even worse this time than the last. 

It’s really having a serious impact on his ability to stand and walk.  I’m afraid he’s going to fall, watching the effort it takes to put on his shoes fuels that worry.  I hate to suggest a cane or walker… M would not like that at all but it would be a lot safer while I’m at work.

There’s nothing about this shit that’s easy on him, that’s for sure.

More like “Hell 18 Days” if the experience of last time is any indication.  M had chemo Tuesday and his pegfilgrastim (Neulasta) shot yesterday. 

So far the side effects are:  bone pain, general pain, nausea, itchy skin, constipation, reddened skin, voice changes, and his face is puffy. He also has “chemo brain” with its fuzziness of thought. He started losing hair about 10 days ago, he shaves his head so you wouldn’t notice it there but other body hair is falling out.  He doesn’t have any underarm hair left & yesterday he even noticed his eyelashes coming out.

I’m sure I missed a few, or more likely,  there’s a few M isn’t telling me…

M was looking forward to a good week as he’d been told by the chemo nurse, and I had read, that by the week before the next treatment he’d start to feel better.  He’s had a few good hours most days this week but overall it’s been pretty bad.

The main things he tells me are chills, bone pain, and hand and feet numbness… but in looking at him, he just doesn’t look good.  The fatigue is relentless. And only one treatment has happened,  there’s three more scheduled, how’s he going to feel by mid September?

Overnight,  the giant boil popped.  M said it was incredibly horrible tasting.  But now hopefully it can start to heal.

As of this post I am done with the historical timeline so hopefully the entries will be slightly less mechanical seeming…

M is on a roll today, he drove himself to get his blood drawn at a local lab, went to visit B for a bit, and even mowed some. He’d worn himself out by 1 pm and then slept for a couple hours.

Today was the first day that M ventured out of the house on his own in two full weeks.  He is still having a myriad of side effects but the intense pain is mostly gone. 

His primary care Dr’s office called, the last blood test shows elevated glucose, they’d like him to get his A1C checked every week for three months. They wanted to discuss diet. Really? We’re at a point where, for two out of three weeks it’s a challenge to find food he’s willing to eat.

A Mt. Vesuvius of a boil grew in his mouth and is huge today.

Wow, the side effects didn’t let up & hammered M the whole week.  He was weaker, more fatigued, and in more pain than I have ever seen him.

We went to see Dr. K and he seemed shocked at how bad M was. He’s lowering the dose next treatment by 10%.

M felt pretty good when he woke up, a little pain but not too bad.

He went for his shot at 3. That night he began to describe horrible pain from inside his bones.

M’s first chemo day, he had to be there at 8:15 am and I picked him up at 5 pm…

He didn’t have much to say about it.